Man is free at the moment he wishes to be. — Voltaire

An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile—hoping it will eat him last. — Winston Churchill

No man’s life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session. — Mark Twain

My girlfriend always laughs during sex, no matter what she’s reading.— Steve Jobs

I was always taught to respect my elders, but it keeps getting harder to find one. — Jim Dorman

When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are the legislators.—P. J. O’Rourke

The trouble with our liberal friends is not that they’re ignorant: It’s just that they know so much that isn’t so. — Ronald Reagan

Excellence is not an accomplishment. It is a spirit, a never-ending process .— Lawrence M. Miller

When the effective leader is finished with his work, the people say it happened naturally.—Lao Tse

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat. —Alex Levine

I have not failed. I’ve just found ten thousand ways that won’t work. —Thomas Edison

There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works. — Larry Elton